I haven’t sat to write in a while. Actually, I’m not even sure anyone will read this since it’s been so long; however, I saw my last post and thought I should update…at least for myself. I’ve now been back at school for a year and a half. I have 2 more semesters for my bachelor’s degree and 2 years following that for my master’s degree. I’m starting to see the dim light at the end of the tunnel.
The last year and a half have been exhausting, exhilarating, satisfying, hard, and more than scary. Most days, I feel like I throw a ton of balls up in the air and only manage to catch one. Somedays, I catch 2, but on most I’m lucky to catch one. I’m beginning to be ok with that, even though I’m not. I’ve looked at the Henry Van Dyke quote more than I care to admit. I has helped me buck up and press on.
Overall, I’m so thankful I went this route. Sure, it is hard. Actually, I hear quite often from people that find out that I am back in school, “Wow, with 2 little ones?! I don’t envy you at all.” Thankfully, the “little ones” aren’t that little and can mostly fend for themselves (ie. go to the bathroom by themselves, play without me watching every move, etc.). And, most of the time, I don’t envy me either. The cool thing about going back to school, though, is knowing that I will be able to help my family financially once I’m finished. Really, it’s all about them. Sure, the satisfaction of good grades at the end of the semester is mine. I savor those moments. The main goal, is all about them. Making their lives better lives gives me the drive and determination I need to get through each semester.
As I start the last year working toward my bachelor’s, I hope I can articulate how thankful I am for all of my family. Husband, parents, kids have all had to sacrifice. Whether it is time to take care of my kids, time away from me, time picking up the slack that I just flat can’t do, they have all chipped in and helped. There’s NO way I could do what I’m doing without them.
To those thinking about going back to school, I say, “DO IT!” There will never be a “right time”. There will never be an “easy time” or a “convenient time”. It will always be hard. From after high school to retired, it will be hard. The reward is much greater. For me, it’s a bucket list thing, a finish what my parents’ started thing, a better my family thing. There are many rewards for me. In the end, I will be much better for this exhausting, exhilarating, satisfying, hard, and more than scary experience…I hope.