I really feel like I’m being punked! Shouldn’t I have 12 weeks left, at least?! I do not feel like we only have a month and a half before this little one will make her arrival! I cannot wait to meet her!
When I was pregnant with Sydney, I was anxious to meet her but I really didn’t know what I was getting into. I didn’t realize how much I could love someone. It was a whole new world. Although I have no idea what I’m getting into as far as having two at home, I know how awesome it is to love someone instantly and deeply.
With Sydney, Ryan and I started the conversation about having kids. We really thought it would take us a while to get pregnant. It seemed about as soon as the conversation ended, I was pregnant. It really caught me off-guard. I started crying the moment the little pink line showed up. Ryan giggled, looked at me, and said “I thought this is what you wanted?” It was what I wanted. I just didn’t expect it for many more months. I really believe for that reason and the fact that I had no way of knowing the greatness that was to come, I didn’t connect to the pregnancy like most people do. I heard all of these mushy gushy stories. That’s what I expected when I was pregnant. However, it didn’t happen. I thought something must be wrong with me since I didn’t feel that way.
I now realize just how much Sydney has changed me. Before Sydney, hugs from friends were tolerated but not really welcomed. My group of girlfriends in TX would laugh at me (not in a bad way, though). By the time we left TX, they said I was getting better. Now, I welcome hugs. I would have never thought a child could change my life so drastically!
She has also changed how this pregnancy is going. I have loved every second of this pregnancy. Ok, that’s not totally honest. I have not loved the nausea, backaches, thousands of trips to the bathroom, or sleepless nights BUT I have loved knowing that I’m her mama and feeling her move. I’ve had all of the mushy gushy feelings. Much of that is thanks to my big girl.
Another part that makes me cherish & love being pregnant is the fact that this pregnancy did not come easy. It followed shots, many months of trying, surgery, and more trying. It did not catch me off-guard this time. I was anxiously waiting. I’m not saying that if someone waits for a long time, he/she will love his/her baby more. I’m also not saying if pregnancy comes easily, the pregancy will not be cherished. I’m only saying that’s how it seemed for me. For that reason, I thank God. By making me wait for this pregnancy, He gave me a gift. For what will probably be my last pregnancy, He has given me the ability to cherish every moment. As I anxiously await her arrival, I am cherishing all of the last little kicks, punches, hiccups, nudges, etc. All of those movements reminds me that He is giving me the chance to be a mama to another little one. What a blessing. I will never take this moment for granted.