Year of Lessons, It Seems

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As you all have heard me say, I’m anxious about 2009. I don’t necessarily think it’s going to be a bad year. I just don’t know what it holds. It looks to be a year of great change for our family. I’m not too good with change. Once the change has occured, I’m fine. It’s all of the prep for the change, all of the worrying, dreading, or uncertinty that makes me anxious. I wish I could be a free spirit & not worry about things. I’m learning to be more relaxed & not worry myself to death before we get to the decision that needs to be made. I tend to worry about the fact that we might have to make a certain decision, whatever that decision may be. Crazy, huh?

It’s crazy that I worry so much when, in fact, most of what I worry about is out of my control. It is in God’s hands–always has been & always will be. I forget that, a lot. I keep making it about what I need to do, what I should have done, or what “could” happen. Instead, I should be hitting my knees asking for wisdom & relying on Him to show it to me. When asking for help, I have to remember to stop, be still, and listen for the answer. I normally tend to ask for wisdom or insight and then keep running and worrying. I’m not likely to hear whatever He’s saying in that situation! So, I’m learning, to sit, be still, and listen. Wow, it is hard for me to do.

Along with trying not to worry but to allow God to speak, I am also resolved to be more responsible when it comes to our finances. Although we pay our bills on time & try to do well in other areas, we have not had our priorities quite right. So, this year we have committed to change. It is not an easy change by any means.

So, 2009, although we have already taken some hits, we are anchored and prepared (well maybe not completely prepared or this wouldn’t be a learning process) for all you throw at us–good and bad. We will look to God for answers and strenghth.

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